Suddenly seeing the big numbers in the medical bills, the weight and vulnerability of being an independent adult in the American system bore heavily on him. The reality of being alone in America struck him as being lonely and depressing. But the force of history and social structures was something too grand to confront immediately, leaving him feeling small and cornered.

After coming into a frank social awareness he sometimes questioned whether he was a token or a model minority and started seeing less of himself in a role of being a close friend to others.